For a while earlier this year, you could say I was sulking away like a petulant child, waving my puny fist at God above and wondering why even the best laid plans could fail. Everytime I thought I was onto something good, it just had to fall apart.
It took the past few months for me to realise that God works in His own timing. And perhaps, I'm learning to trust again, to believe that there is a divine timing to everything.

When you compare what you have with what you deserve, I suppose that's when few of us can complain further. All in all, it's been a year of sheer abundance. And for that, I'm grateful.

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With the recent events unfolding, I think God is trying to teach me the virtue of patience. And the value of allowing things to bloom in their own time. As they say, letting nature take its course.

Perhaps that will be the challenge to undertake in the next 6 months, an uphill climb to meet the various KPIs set. So torrid impatient self, behave!

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I'm back from a glorious weekend in Cherating learning to surf - excellent fresh seafood, stuffed crabs and chilling out a great bunch of pals. Away from the tourist-infested waters of more popular destinations like Bali, with much needed stillness and clean salty air, where one really can't ask for more. And I was glad to leave MrBerry at home, without his flashing red light and perpetual connectivity... Feels good to be uncontactable and out of touch sometimes.

Funny how these days, in a large way, I feel like my life is just beginning. Feels like I'm entering a different phase where all the old ideas are insignificant and deserve to fade away into black obscurity for new perspectives and things I've never entertained. Major paradigm shift.

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Earlier this evening, the bunch of us trooped off to visit our colleague and her newborn son in her new home. She's into her first month of maternity leave and had us come over for dinner, filled with traditional chinese favourites and homemade dumplings. Excellent stuff and my first dinner for this week!
Splendid tummy fillers aside, I gained a deeper insight into what marriage should be about. And the sort of maturity one needs to have when faced with big decisions, unexpected surprises and big purchases like that first home.

In short, any problem that can be solved by money is not a problem indeed.

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Instead of going straight up like I usually do when I come home dog tired, I headed for the pool. Where I'm now seated, legs stretched out and still encased in 3inches. It's been a long while since I've come here, alone with the swirling thoughts in my mind, while listening to everything else - the chatter from a group of young boys towelling off after their laps, and the sight of an ang mor couple making out at the edge of the water right in front of me (does that constitute foreplay?). It's a beautiful place to be at night, sometimes we do take the things nearest and dearest and most available to us for granted.

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You know you need more morning coffee when you walk around half the morning with your fly unzipped and oblivious to it all. You know you had too much when your mind perks up and goes faster than your fingers can type.

Another round of meetings and more meetings. Moving things up another notch, it's gearing up towards rolling out a slew of new products, hot off the plane. 12-hour days running around like a mad monkey can take a toll - no time to eat and bliss is crawling into bed to sleep. The good thing is, they help you ease well into those fitted pants, which go so darn well with 3inch heels. You win some, you lose some :)


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Thanks to Jetstar's 24hour madness sales, I was spurred into action, booking flight tickets for Feb 2010. So instead of a weekend catching up with friends in Kuala Lumpur, I'm headed for Penang. Where the Malaysian sweetheart will meet me there for a food + photography tour.

2010 hasn't started, but with the events and travel lined up, it looks like marvellous year ahead!


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Today, I realise that how, in order to get to the core of who you are, you need to lose your way and fumble in the darkness. Sounds like a paradox in itself: to find everything in nothing, meaning in chaos.
And only when you've made your peace, that you take a quantum leap forward and a new path appears.

Life in all its little mysteries.

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Gone are the days when I could club till 4am on weekdays, and get ready to start the work day at 730am. It's been a splendid weekend chilling with the girls (and the one guy) at Sentosa, celebrating Denise at Siloso. So splendid we didn't sleep many winks, juggling the incredible squeeze across two single beds. So splendid I need another weekend to recover from this one.

But coffee always saves the day. I'm suitably boosted after my third cup and ready to wrap up photography lessons with my last night shoot. And the learn-to-surf weekend coming right up!

November is an incredibly full month at work, rolling things out for the festive season ahead. I'm glad the social calendar also comes packed with its share of fun!

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It's been a long day at work: I just left the office and walked in the light drizzle to the bus-stop, where it's now pouring like crazy. I'm thankful my new charcoal pants and 3inches down south (the heels) are spared any wet anguish. Life with the Blackberry has not been the same. I'm now more productive, being able to put that hour or two between appointments to good use - replying emails, fixing things uo and coordinating the 63980 things life demands of you. Plus, to be able to keep in touch with my dear pals here and overseas via BlackBerry Messenger, without the culmulative charges that smses can chalk up.

And at times like this, I'm inclined to agree that once you go Black, you never quite turn back!


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It's been a long awesome day, on leave from work and definitely a well-deserved break after weeks of slogging like a horse. It's 2.12am - I should be soundly asleep by now, but I'm wide awake - must be the excellent Ya Kun kopi.

The best thing about going out on Mondays? NO need to jostle with weekend crowds, good tea-time deals, and cheap movie tickets. So there, 2 movies to start the week off right: Julie & Julia with an old pal, and the Hurt Locker with the whole family. Plus my favourite food: Tan Tan Ramen and desserts at MOF (flavour of the month), and Thunder Tea Rice (you either LOVE it or HATE it).

Finding an old journal, filled with entries penned when I was 20, 21. It made me realise how life is indeed a journey of unexpected surprises. Of just how far I've come, and that sometimes, one needs to send out a hope, for the universe to come full circle. Dreams that were once dreams, goals that seemed too impossible, admist all the uncertainty.

I read about the first boy I fell in love with, and then the man I was madly in love with, to fly halfway across the world for, twice. Distant memories of places and faces.

I read about how my interest in photography was piqued from working with photographers, coordinating photoshoots for corporate collateral. How I dreamed that one day, I would be able to afford a camera, and to compose excellent photos I can truly call mine.

I read about how I looked up in awe at the executives who worked in the same ivory tower, looking so put-together in their snazzy power suits, perfect makeup, great hair, nice bags and heels. I wrote, how I hoped I would be able afford nice things, to have my own sense of style and the kind of a confidence that radiates from within. And hopefully, to look just as good.

I read about how I wished I could be stronger and not fall sick so much, or catch a cold every so often, or feel so tired everyday. I hoped I could play sports, take up new things, and run without feeling like my chest would burst.

I read about how I wanted to do a degree, but had no idea how or what to do. An overseas education, the most impossible dream of them all. I wanted to see the world, to experience new cultures, to live on my own, to drive my own car, do my own thing... in short, be truly independant.

I read about how I wanted to be able to make a stand, to have something I'm good at and be recognised for it. How I wished I had the confidence to speak up and be heard; the boldness to talk to perfect strangers; and the interpersonal skills to communicate effectively, and handle various social situations with ease.

I read about how I wished I had friends whom I could truly count on to be there in the bad times and good. How I wanted so much, to be myself, to speak without much thought, and to be with people whom I don't have to say much, yet walk away feeling like we had the best time ever. A meeting of the hearts.

6 years later, I'm grateful how time has given me more than what I've ever hoped for, or bargained for. It's been a conscious process of continuous improvement every step of the way, building the future one brick at a time.

Time for a new list, new goals, new hopes. This will include seeing my two bestest pals start new chapters in their lives, a personal pilgrimage to Israel and Jordan, and travel adventures with a DSLR in hand.

Some things, you just keep going.

Inspired by recent films like Coco Before Chanel, The September Issue and insider pals like TheFearlessFashionista, MisterPrada and his Tods-shoed other half.

Indeed, some of us are truly late bloomers - but as they say, better late than never. From the girl who thought strange colour combinations like yellow and purple were cool, and who once lived on V-neck tees and capris, I'm glad things are very different now. Spending a couple of years in the States and Australia helped, to observe the different styles unique to various places. And this has helped develop a keener eye for texture, fabric fall, prints and colours.

Interestingly, with less than 5% of the population being genetically blessed with model proportions and gazelle limbs, looking good is essentially about dressing for your figure type and making the best out of your God-given body. Unlike some of my luckier friends who can pull off this season's looks effortlessly, I have to pick and choose: I'm not stick-thin and I will never be. This means that I should play up my better assets while cleverly trying to downplay those turkey thighs with the right outfits and sensible cardio.

( Because you're only young once and pleasure is priceless )

It's a good feeling to know, that certain bonds remain unchanged - though the years, the miles, and the different chapters in between. Sometimes, two people start off on the same page, but with time, end up on different ones. I'm thankful, because life has been good enough to iron out those kinks in my book.

I've always believed that people come into our lives for a reason. Sometimes they stay for a season, and if we're lucky enough, they stay for a lifetime. That's when we know we're truly blessed.

Hearty pink-in-the-middle steaks and a couple of long conversations later, I'm happy for two of my dearest pals, thePinkDaisy & thebestpal, who will tie the knot next year. I'm thrilled and honoured, that they want me to be a part of that joy - I'm going to be a bridesmaid for the first time at thePinkDaisy's; and help out at thebestpal's greatbigMalaywedding. (Thankfully neither of them are showing any signs of the dreaded Bridezilla syndrome I'm allergic to)

2010 has not started, but already, it sees plans in full swing: the weddings of several close friends, travel (Israel, Jordan - booked!), and so many things to look forward to. In so many ways, I feel like I've just learnt how to live all over again.

But grand weddings and the day affairs aside, the more important thing here, is knowing that they've found a wonderful man each, to begin a new chapter of their lives with. In the process, embark on a journey of new beginnings, trials and happiness they can truly call their own.

Both of them have weathered many trials to arrive at this point, to have been worn down and built up again, to know what they truly want. Thebestpal's long-distance story takes the cake - and in the face of all the seemingly insurmountable challenges they face with immigration issues, I think it's remarkable that they've come this far.

And that sort of love, is what you call a many splendored thing indeed.

When your most cynical friend recommends you a book to want to mail his copy to you, describing it as inadvertently life-changing, impactfully provoking, and "the best $25 i've spent on a book" - you know it's good stuff coming right up. And if you, like me, like to personalise your own copy with scribbles and bitemarks all over, you know it's time to get down to the bookstore for your very own copy.

The book in question: The Way of the Peaceful Warrior, by Dan Millman.

I'm halfway through the chapters, and all I can say, is that the read couldn't have been more timely. Like the protagonist, life is going so well for us that we really can't complain about anything - great job, awesome friends, the good life filled with much love and nice things... everything you thought would make life complete, the way it's depicted in glossy magazines. But the sad truth is, it's not it.

There is that something missing... I can't quite find the words to describe it, but I know religion is not the answer. At times, you can't shake off the feeling you're running on empty. Or at times, perhaps you're living it all wrong, barking up the wrong trees and chasing down empty streets.

Don't read me wrong. I'm not depressed, neurotic, or anything remotely associated with those two states. I'm just at a point where it's time to tear down the old to build the new - better sooner than later. I'm redefining what it means to live, what happiness means to me, and what I want in my life.

I don't quite know how this happened, but I no longer feel the same rush at fashion collections; nor the same affiliation when I hold a Bell & Ross; or the same thrill when I stroke a luscious nappa leather bag, nor the heightened slightly giddy state when I sniff leather and revel in its masculine scent. These days, a bag is a bag is a bag... whether it's a luscious miu or a limited edited Marc. I never thought I'd say this, but something's gone.

That said, I'm much inspired by my friend from uni, Miss20cents, whose life has taken a 180degree spin. She's chopped off her long hair for a chic low-maintenance bob and her wardrobe now comprises largely of hiking pants and sneakers. She's hardly around, always jetting off to climb some mountain or nature trail. And her resolution is to travel to at least 10 places a year. She says, "I'm working towards the day where everything that matters to me can fit into a suitcase." Very fiesty, this woman.

While I doubt I can ever manage that (15 suitcases maybe), but for a start, I'm happy to trash out and make do with less.

And work towards the day I'd be able to leave my cares behind to see the world with a new pair of eyes.

Tonight was one of those nights that I'll look back on and smile at. Not for the grand plans, but for the simplicity and quiet togetherness of it all. And so much love in one heartwarming evening.

If 2008 was the year that reunited my elder sis and I, then 2009 will be the year we celebrate birthdays together for the first time, as family. Today is her birthday, and my bro-in-law, put together a little surprise. I rushed down straight after work and had a slice of luscious chocolate cake.

Later into the night, when the guests had gone home and the revelry wrapped up, we sat on the decking and chatted, enjoying the koi gliding about in the pond, charmed by soothing breeze and the sounds of trickling water.

Soon it was bedtime and my darling nieces came to say goodnight, with kisses, cuddles and "I-love-you Muummy and Auntie H". This time round, I went upstairs to tuck them into bed. Because they asked ever so sweetly and I couldn't say no, out came a bedtime story made-up on the spot: of the beautiful princess trapped in a magic castle guarded by a fiece fiery dragon; a handsome prince who as clever as he was kind and his pet dragon... who all lived happily ever after.

I'm looking forward to the many more birthdays and outings to come, and the distant relatives from Australia whom I'll be meeting for the first time soon. More drama than a movie script sometimes, but theimmaculateMissBurns is definitely right in one thing: God has been showing me a lot of love, and in too many ways, I couldn't have asked for more.

It's been a pleasant hiatus - meeting wonderful new people who bring with them new energy and experiences. A time where I've learnt a thing or two about happiness. It’s an eternal debate surrounding happiness and while theory has largely covered everything there is, what is sorely lacking is often the courage to go forth and take action.

This year, I’ve come to realize that happiness is largely a state of mind, trying to align your goals with reality, and striking a balance between the various aspects of your life. In many ways, I'm still struggling to find a balance and to put certain principles in motion, but I do agree - things really get better with time!

Here are some things I’ve gathered when it comes to living life and making it a happy one as best as you can.

( My few cents worth... )

Sometimes you need to take a chance on strangers, and I'm glad I did some months ago. Because at dinner tonight, it struck me how thankful I was for the friend next to me - for his big kind heart, the fresh new perspectives he injected, and his AMAZING photos with so much soul to them.

In the past couple of weeks, he's taught me how to look at the world again to appreciate its beauty, through the eyes of a camera lens. And I have to thank him, for the gift of seeing the world with new eyes once more, to see beauty in things seemingly ugly.

To think for a while, I lost it and despaired of ever finding my way back. But sometimes, help comes in the forms most unexpected - you don't question and you give thanks.

In the past week, I've come to realise the difference between mere existing and really, fully living. It's a familiar scenario, going through life with the motions, glazed over and too cynical to feel any passion. It's so easy to lose your way these days.

Quite frankly, the difference can be a thin red line when you're trying to juggle as best as you can, feeling stretched in all directions, as most of us do.

Mindset and attitude and action - "Just do it" might simply be the best three words ever invented. And a touch of madness, the icing on the cake.

From time to time, the question will inadventenly crop up: Do you want to be a smaller cog in a bigger wheel, or a bigger cog in a smaller wheel?

An incident last night reaffirmed the decision I've made to be where I am now. Late yesterday afternoon, our delayed shipments finally made it in - by then, we were in a state of near panic given our retail allocation deadlines. Past 7pm, the entire team trooped over to our new warehouse to help sort, pack and box. We worked past dinner, alongside each other, assembly-line style. From office auntie to executive to senior manager, everyone was hard at work with the same objective and the same end goal in mind - getting the stocks up and ready to go.

This morning, the van came and everything was sent off to the various outlets islandwide, like clockwork. Just like that, another day at work, another day behind the scenes - most people don't realise the madness behind it all.

But to experiece the teamwork and camaraderie that made all this possible, that is what makes all the difference. It's a good feeling to know that we've got each other covered.

It took me a while to get back on track. Slightly over two months to be precise, but now that I'm done with moping around and feeling sad about how things that once seemed so bright, so full of hope and promise, could disintegrate like finely milled sand through fingers - I'm ready to move on. In time, we'll know the answers. Or maybe not. Either way, it doesn't matter anymore.

During this period, I spent more time on my own, and remembered how important it is to take a step back from time to time. Too often, we get caught up in the hurlyburly of external influences that we forget to listen to that inner voice.

I realise how we outgrow people. I realise how happiness is a choice. I realise how change is the one thing that's inevitable. So today, I make a promise to myself that I'm going to embrace all the possibilities and live. To choose to be happy and smile, for better or worse.

And when it's time to go, I hope that will be when I'm truly happy to without regrets because it's been a life well-lived, full of vivid colour and much laughter.